(un)Friends and Fiances

So, I started work again today. The company was bought out by another company. They promised jobs to everyone that already existed with the company....

Yeah, so when I started today I learned that the guy who got me my job got canned last week, with only 2 weeks of severance pay. He was 3 tier in the company. How does that even work? It's a joke and an insult. It made me really sad and upset.


Also, So, you know how when your friends find a new bf or gf and they completely drop you? Sometimes they offer to hang out, but only when the sig. other is busy. I just think "My schedule does not revolve around your sig. others' schedule. and I don't want to be treated as a second class friend."
So pretty much I am just done with that.

Those girls always apologize, "I am so sorry I have just been so busy."
Yeah macking out with that boy. And you arn't sorry, so shut the bull trap. 

It happens all the time. I feel like I am worth more as a friend then that.
they ditch you anyways when they are married.

Always saying "I won't be like that! we will hang out all the time!"

... until you realize how many bills you have to pay... you start with all good intentions of not dropping your friends... but it happens.
So. Friendship over. Bye and have an awesome life!

Lessons from Walter

Lately I have been feeling pretty boring. Sometimes life feels like the wind. It just moves past you all the while you just disregard it. We never take a moment to think about the wind, what does it tell us about the day, the weather, the time, etc... It's the same as I feel about life. It just moves by and I don't stop to think about what it means,

and I never live it to the fullest.

My parents and I were watching The Secret Life of Walter Mitty tonight. The new version with Ben Stiller. You know the one with the main character played by Ben Stiller? and the Director... Ben Stiller? and, no wait, the famous producer... Ben Stiller? 
In between dry spouts of humor the main theme of the movie bled through the screen and into my consciousness and fed off the void of feeling in life.

I need to take life to the fullest too. To take life to the threshold, and even if I can't travel to far off rugged mountains, and I can feel each moment.

A long time ago my grandmother was married to this douchebag of a guy. They ended up getting divorced but it caused a break between friends. My grandmother and the sister of this guy. Just recently, 40 + years after the fact we moved within 2 hours from this Lady. We didn't know she was around, but my grandmother came for a visit and our families re-connected.

I was unable to attend the event, but today I got to meet her.

We just went to a state part and talked about her family history in the state of Texas. She comes from a long line of Thoroughbred Texans and has very strong roots to the area.

She also remembers going to school during segregation. She remembers the history I learned in elementary school.

It's interesting that nothing super notable happened, but at the same time, each small moment is how history is made.

Summer lists

Lose 30 lbs

Go to lunch with Madison

Go to Corpis Cristy with the chem e girls

Do art/copy art Pinterest board 

Train for a half marathon

Get hot

Save money

Go to crystal bridges?

Go to Hawaii

Write Poem Book

Read FB 100 novels book list

Start an ultimate frisbee group

Go camping

Clean appartment

Move in with Jessica 

Finances

Fix resume

Blanket tee shirts 

Fix clothes-standards

Endowment 

Hang out with Donika

Fix passwords 

Hang out with terry 

Workout with Camille 

Hang out with Julie, Jessica, Mackenzie 

Hang out with Chemily 

Handwriting 

Geneology

Word of the day

Blogg 2 stories a day

Read JC

Feed missionaries once a month

Sometimes

I am often alone in my head, which can be helpful for some situations, but others not so much. As I wonder the worlds that exist in that space I find events and thoughts that are hilarious, or maybe just ridiculous. Either way, I wish I had the skill to emerge those thoughts and bring them to text, maybe to bring a different, if not interesting, view out to the world. But alas I don't have the time or the wit. Maybe one day I'll interest myself in journalism.

A lot has gone on these past few months, but in reality not much has. The days pass without number and they streamline into failing grades. Often it leaves me feeling hopeless and friendless. I wish I had friends to do all the things I do, but I don't. Just often wishing by myself. So is it me or them?

Blessing

To use what I have learned from my family
that the calling is sacred and came from god
for my light that I have shown forth
For my valiance
for spiritual strengths that I have not recieved yet
for knowledge that I will find
for success in school
for success in the RS
be a blessing to the president of the RS

Tortellini Soup

2 cartons of chicken broth
heat to a simmer
add chopped onion
2 tbs parsley
1/2 tsp crushed red pepper
1/2 c grated carrot
simmer for 10 min then add
1 pkg of fresh cheese tortellini
bring to a boil
tortellini will float to the top when it's ready

essays

I had a cool experience at the beginning of the semester. I entered my Organic Chemistry class and realized that I was not friends with anyone in the class. That poses two problems. First, I don’t know who to sit with, and second I don’t have anyone to study with. I found a few faces I recognize from my Chemical Engineering courses and braved an introduction. I introduced myself and asked if I could sit with them. They of course agreed and I started making friends with other Chemical Engineers.

Later on in the semester there was an introductory MEP activity and two of my new friends were discussing their potential attendance, and this sounds really childish, but I got excited. I literally thought “They are just like me!” They are Chemical Engineers who are a part of the Multicultural program as well.

I guess it is pretty easy to feel lost in the sea of people in any kind of organization, especially in a large educational institution such as OU. I was realizing that even though there are so many people it is very possible to find people that you can connect with. There is another side to this discovery, I would like to get more involved with the program, but I am pretty “white” compared to most the kids in the program. This causes me to be a little hesitant in involvement, but I found friends to help me get the nerve to be more involved!

The moral of this story is that this organization is important because it helps us find people we can relate to, and we can find people that become collaborators in our studies. I think it is very important for us in our education to find friends. It helps us build on our abilities and leader, collaborators, and team workers as well as helps us study.

In our engineering courses we are given real world problems that we have to solve. We have to use the formulas and examples we have learned in our course work and apply it to a new situation that may be different from our examples we have come across before. We take our information that we know and apply it to this new problem that exists in real world parameters. We take our formulas and write an equation that explains this problem. It explains the forces and parameters that we are dealing with. We then take this information and use it to build and create.

The problem with this function of one person solving problems is that one person cannot see everything. We observe with only our own understanding, which our own understanding is based off of what we see and what we know. However, we cannot see everything and know everything at one time. This is why we need teams. This is why we need leaders, and this is why we need to collaborate. This is what diversity is.

Diversity is not just a difference in appearance, diversity is a difference in the way we see the world. We need diversity in everything, because the world is not monochromatic and our real life engineering problems and not contained in single variable ideal situations.

Diversity helps us learn and it helps us move forward. We need to have differences in understanding and opinion to progress. If we did not question things in life, or our engineering situations, then we would not have a trigger to help us move forward. We take our questions and begin to explore then and expand our understanding. In doing so we are able to solve questions, find answers, and help progress. This is what diversity is, it is not just the language we speak, the food we eat, or the places we grow up. It is the way we see the world, and how we can collaborate to grow.

I have had a number of diverse achievements in my life. I have always been very goal oriented and strive to always be working on improving. After I finished my first marathon I learned a very important aspect of achievements and goals. A goal is something that we want to do. It is an action that is very different from something that we do in our normal lives. Most the time this action that is our goal takes a change, it could be an emotional, spiritual, mental, or physical change. Change takes time and consistency.

When I finished running the marathon I was tired, but it was a tired I had experienced before. I was able to go to a dance afterwards. I had trained my body that even after running for five hours I still hand strength. Obviously this is not possible without training. Running the marathon was pretty cool, but it wasn’t really the goal. It was each and every day that I ran that was the goal. Running those 5 hours was not a big deal that day because I had trained my body to do it. Overcoming the goal was each and every morning that I got up for six months, even when I was too tired to think, or it was so cold that the air froze my breath inside my lungs. Overcoming a goal is actually overcoming the smaller hurdles that happen every single day. Each goal has an aspect of discipline that we must develop.

Engineering is not an easy field to go into. Course work is not really a simple battle to handle. It takes learning a new way of thinking. However each day I get up and tackle the assignments and tests like I did when I was running. I may not be the fastest, I may not be the smartest, and there are some days that I will fail. I will fail just like when I hurt my ankles running, or I tripped and I was out of commission for a couple of weeks. However, I know that I am building the strength and determination so that in the end I can do it.

thoughts...

first off, I am upset about the stuff happening at the Olympics, however I believe in the Olympics as a way to bring understanding, compassion, and friendship across cultures and people. So, stop dragging it down. Sure there are bumps and the road, let's figure out how to make this all a positive thing.


you can only push yourself an arm's distance away from the Lord, because you can only push him that far, he will never push you away.

If you are doing something because you are afraid of the consequences, you have a telestial attitude. If you are doing something because you are obligated to do it you have a terrestrial attitude.
If you are doing something because you want to do it, then you have a celestial attitude.

Engineering

 If I was ever an engineering professor I would have this be the last question on the final exam.

Question: If an engineer walks for 40 min. with 3 textbooks, 3 notebooks, a laptop, a granola bar, a calculator, a phone... etc. How many calories do they burn?

Answer: A pizza, you deserve a pizza.

2/5/14

su pu ll: 24

So, today was pretty weird.

First, I found on my way to class that my car doors were frozen shut. I had to use my fast acting chemical engineering mind to figure out how to open the door. (I just tried pushing on the door in and out until it opened)

One of my classes homework was postponed until next week. The entire class cheered, clapped and whistled, like after a Broadway performance.

I am all these things...

http://www.buzzfeed.com/video/micaela/14-signs-you-are-type-a
Type A

Beautiful things

Pu su ll 20

I want my life filled with beautiful things, in every medium.