Adventure of a Liver

So I have this friend called a gallbladder, or Little G for short. Well Little G has been have some troubles. Been puking up skittles sized crystals. On a scale from one to ten for pain I would say we feel about an 8 or 7.5. Well Little G has been puking up these stones about once a month. Sometimes we take pain meds, but it doesn't help in the least. So we decided to see a doctor.
You would not believe this! The doctor actually suggested that they take my friend Little G away. It is not ok in my opinion to just take one's best friend away on a whim of things. But after talking to the specialist we decided it would be for the best, for both of us.
We were incredibly nervous. Didn't sleep at all that night. There is A lucky one percent of livers, that's a me, who end up with difficult troubles after this procedure. It's called a bile leak. Now I know what bile is but I'm pretty sure that all'yall need to do some research on the topic.
Well the surgery went fine. Except who likes to be cut open and have your best friend taken away? Not many livers. And to top it off I didn't know that they blow the abdomen up with gas for the procedure and they don't (they being the doctors) remove the gas. Who likes walking around like a balloon? I can confirm that I do not. For more reason than just being afraid of defying gravity. And no as a liver I cannot stand Wicked. Well this gas moves to the shoulders and neck. Like these body parts want anything to do with this. Pain scale with ice, a 2. Pain scale no ice, a 5.
Well I and my other best buds of the body have to go back to school. It's tough work this school business. We are all shaking in our boots for this next semester, but we get on the plane. I hate TSA.
Pain scale 2.
So I fly from Tulsa to Dallas. No problem. I actually took pain meds so I felt fine, well a little dizzy. I hate meds.
Then I wait around for the flight to Honolulu. Call another bud down the line. You know, eat, argue with the free wifi, more pain meds. The usual stuff that goes on at the local airport. Then we board then plane. It's going to be a 9 hr flight. Shoot me now! Ok so I really am feeling a bit woozy.
Pain scale with meds 2.
Then about two hrs in to the flight I am trying to sleep and I begin to hurt. Pain is about a 5 and it builds rapidly to a 9. I begin to shake and everything gets fuzzy. The stewardess will not let me lay down. I am almost unconscious. I can't put two thoughts together. I hurt so bad. Someone notices my cuts because the stewardess is pulling my sweatshirt off. I manage to say I lost Little G. I don't know how people came but I was lying in the isle and there were people around me. Someone was putting ice on my face. I don't know what she looked like. There were people all around me but I don't know what they look like. I know their voices though. Pain 9.
I am so thirsty someone suggests an ice pack, I manage a yes to that. A lady at my head keeps saying she is a retired nurse. her name is MJ.
After I get the ice the pain goes down to a 5. And two men pick me up. I am not ok with this but nobody is listening to me at all. They take me to the back of the plane and put me on the floor. One of them, military, puts a needle in my arm. Whatever, but then they ask for napkins. I freak out- don't get blood anywhere that is gross. Then I start shaking. I can't stop. MJ thinks I have jaundice because I am yellow. I tell her that I have olive skin and she asks me to look at her. I do and she believes me. My Asian friends still think I'm pink though. She laughs. I still don't know what she looks like.
the plane lands, that did not register. Pain is at a 1 and I want to stand up. When I do i realize I can't.
The paramedics come. This is so embarrassing. I put all these people out. I can't believe this. I'm the stupid girl. Ugh. I ride in the ambulance. The one paramedic is nice the other basically ignores me. They wheel me into the ER. Lots of people , lots of blood coming out my arm. The kid taking my blood looks like an RM. ok, I think it's weird not to say something to the kid who is spending- no joke- ten min on your arm because I have to fill up ten viles for all the different blood test. Pain scale 1. He leaves. A mean lady comes in. She tells me to pee in a cup and to take off my clothes. She starts taking off my clothes. HEAK NO!!! I convince her I can do it myself , doesn't mean I am going to. I pee in a cup and the pain comes back. 4 then a 7. I ask for ice and I'm moaning. They give me morphine, pain scale 8. I begin crying. They take me to do different tests. I don't know or care about the tests along as I can sleep. I hurt. The lady doing the ultra sound, I feel so bad for her. I have to have a CT scan. This lady tells me what hospital I'm at. She helps me call my mom.
That night dad calls. I can't move but I manage to get the phone. The doctors say they think I'm leaking. I don't know I just hurt. I have to hang up on my dad. Pain increased from a 3 to a 9 and I begin screaming. I can't stop. I'm shaking. A nurse comes. All I say between sobs is "ice" I'm still screaming the doctor closes the door. I must be scaring the other patients The nurse brings me ice. Pain goes from a 9 to a 3. I sleep. The "sleep"'doctor comes. I can hardly stand. He takes me downstairs. They are going to put in a stent. I don't care just make the pain stop. What the HEAK are all these papers. Just fix me. I have to lay on my front. Pain increases from a 3 to a 6. I might cry again. I'm breathing hard and moaning. They put me out. I wake up I have no freaking idea where I am. They wheel me back to my room. Mom is there. She shows me pictures of myself. I still hurt. I guess I was leaking a lot of fluid and That is what hurts. Pain 2.
I am so thirsty. I haven't eaten or drank anything in 2 days. The nurse says I have to wait 4 more hours till I can have clear liquids.
Pain 2 with ice.
Pain 4 without ice. Get me ice now!
I have to pee like two liters an hour. Dang this IV. But I can't hardly move, no way in HEAK am I peeing in a bucket. Help me to the bathroom or I'll go myself. So I go myself. After the third time the nurses let me so whatever I wanted. They knew they had no say.
After many hours of pain at 2 and ice I get told if I can keep down food I can go. So i get some rice crisps with crap milk that is chunky. I say screw this I'm going out for real food. I haven't eaten in days.
Now I'm on the mend and doing well enough.
There's more to the adventure but here is the short of it.

spam

In the past year my association with spam has probably tripled. In the morning the local breakfast calls for a thick salty piece of your wondermeat and my e-mail is joyfully overflowing with inconsequential black on white digital nonsense. The question I have, is how did so much spam come into my life so fast. Well one makes sense, I can not go around belittling a culture that I have been learning and accepting for the past few years, but the other. How is is possible that so much spam comes at once? Well it probably is really possible but it feels more like there are evil little minions determined to ruin my day as I realize out of all the e-mails I get on a given day about 0.1% are actually e-mails for me, personally. All I know is that I am not a huge fan of spam, either kind at all.

Love this poem

 

Photo 

THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL
by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

There was a little girl,
And she had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good
She was very, very good,
And when she was bad she was horrid.
One day she went upstairs,
When her parents, unawares,
In the kitchen were occupied with meals,
And she stood upon her head
In her little trundle-bed,
And then began hooraying with her heels.
Her mother heard the noise,
And she thought it was the boys
A-playing at a combat in the attic;
But when she climbed the stair,
And found Jemima there,
She took and she did spank her most emphatic.

*****

Then one day that little girl
Brushed away that little curl
Away from the middle of her forehead
Now she is good
She is very, very good
And nobody thinks she is horrid!


There was a little girl who wore a little hood,
And a curl down the middle of her forehead;
When she was good, she was very, very good,
But when she was bad, she was horrid.

Mama Lisa

the Floor

So I have about 2 feet by 4 feet of floor space. Now, this is the Grand total of all the space that I can lay my clothes, shoes, bags, stuff, crap, whatever. But this space is also the walkway in and out of the dorm room. I have to say that I am pretty nice. I keep it clean and clear so my ADD roommate can get in and out of the room. But it doesn't matter how much or little I have in my 2 feet by 4 feet of space she manages to tip over and move everything that is slightly in the way. Now, this seems like i'm being unrealistic. But when the walk way is 2 ft by 4 ft and it is entirely clear except for one shoe that is half way under the bed, and she trips over it. Making it fly to the door. And she doesn't say sorry, and she doesn't put it back. I already have to share my room with her. Its like half the room is hers and then my half the room is sudo-hers. She hangs her clothes up to dry on my side. She pulls my stuff out of my closet to use. She puts her cords over my one and only table space. She puts her chair on my side of the room, she puts her rubbish bin in front of my dresser. UGGGH!!!!! And she eats with her mouth open. How inconsiderate can you get?!? Oh yeah- and she doesn't sleep at night. She sleeps in the day. She stays up all night, preventing me from sleeping. And when she walks in and out of the room she bangs the door against my bed and walks in real fast. So if I actually am asleep, I'm not anymore!

See Food, hear food

So I am sitting down next to my computer and across the way I hear, squish, smack, smack smack squish, smack. I can not help but watch as food enters the mouth, the lips and teeth close and then the teeth as well as the lips open. Food is moved by the tongue and the jaw to the other side of the mouth and the teeth close but the lips DO NOT close. I am seeing food. I am hearing food. Nether of these things are acceptable in any sort of way in out culture. And this is a princess little girl. How did she earn 21 years of life Without someone explaining all the social protocol of eating. HOW!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? This chewing/maiming of food and the pollution of air with noise is so disturbing and unnerving.
Then I realize I am staring out of the corner of my eye at her. I have been doing this for 5 min without blinking. Something needs to be done or I will never be able to concentrate on anything else.

Places to GO

A list of places I would like to see in person:


Siberia: Yes it is cold but I have always been fascinated with Siberia.

Ireland: It is beautiful and green, Love it.

London: I just think everything would be so cool to see.

Florence: I believe where the arts began.

New Zealand: It is beautiful and where LOTR was filmed.

India: I want to visit an ashram.

Japan: I got into some anime.

Scandinavia: It is also cold there...

Utah

At one point in my life I lived in Utah.
I loved it, I also hated it. I could not wait to leave.
I have learned that I do not want to live in Utah.
I have plenty of friends and people I am really close with in Utah.
And it is great to spend a week there during random times to visit people.
Everything is really cheep. I love that. You can get whatever you need for the next 6 months and call it good.
Though I feel like there is a specific way you have to be, If you are not you don't fit in.
Fruits and vegetables are really good there.
It is way too dry.
The worst insult: "Are you from Utah?"

Pet Peeves

There is a long list but here we go.

Jeggings: I mean What the Z are we talking about. In my world wearing saran wrap is not in the Norm of social protocol. It is the color of jeans, it has the top stitching that jeans have. But for all intensive purposes these are plastic wrap that are excused as pants. Do the world a favor and just get rid of them.

crappy earphones: You know that guy that is sitting five seats away from you who is listening to the new crappy pop song that came out last week. You have memorized the song, not by choice but by accidental social occasions. And here we are, humming that tune in our head, even though the kid down five isles is listening to the song in his ear buds. Chances are that his volume is only up half way, but these crappy earphones just plain simple are not suited for individual listening.

Freshmen: need I say more?

and when someone stands in the middle of the walkway.. and just stands their. like crap clogging a pipe. 

America vs.Other

I was pondering other countries thoughts on the U.S. They obviously think that we are a "mess", on the other hand we think all other countries are a bit weird too. I believe that there is solid ground for when we think another country has problems.  There is no possible way that the one and only country with problems can be the U.S. I mean if we are talking about human capabilities to cause problems, be selfish, or as my brother says "to Vengeance and beyond!"
I just think that the U.S. is the only State man enough to admit it. I mean you don't see other countries admitting their problems, but you ask any U.S. citizen anywhere in the world and they will probably tell you flat out, "here is a problem with the U.S., ______."

Hollywood Marina and the Diamonds

Christmas Music

Christmas music is the best. I was driving in the car with a friend a few days ago and it was a rather ruff day. Well we were all a little off the edge and I decided to plug in my IPod with my Christmas music. No matter what you just can not stay angry or agitated.
My favorite Christmas music is the traditional sound. Something that takes you back to an older time. You can visualize the chorus in the cathedral or the carolers. An old-fashioned Christmas.
My next favorite Christmas music is the Charlie Brown Christmas music. Love it. I really love when it is played live. Skating is perhaps my favorite.
And finally is Windham Hill, George Winston's December album. Though, Windham Hill has many winter season music which is all very good.

Friends

So I do not believe that anyone in the world can actually say that they have 500 friends, they can have more that 500 acquaintances, but friends? No.

So here we have a social problem. The social networking media and etc. Jimmy Kimmel is right. Why have so much "friend fat". It is too much to deal with. Why do you want to know what 500 or more of your closest acquaintances eat, sleep, say, think, breath, watch. There is not enough room for you in your head, why so many other's useless crap. And chances are, these social media drones are probably as bright as a door nob.

I just have to say I routinely go through and make sure that the friends I have on facebook are people that I could probably stand have say something to me again. In some far away future. So all those still freinds with me on facebook, consider it an honor. The rest, go find real friends.
I refuse to be "friends" with "frienamies" "frienditutes" or people with more that 1,000 "friends".

So I am now down 36 "friends" and I still have more "friends" than many of my "friends". Sad.

Move

So I have been a few places a few different times. Constantly looking for me. You know, always running away from someone/something/making excuses/ looking for something. Always. Well we all do this, "Ok I'll be better if only..." or "I will be ready when...."

I have this ideal. This ideal me that I am running to. Anyone who knows this person who is not the Ideal is subject to sudden unexpected elimination from my existence. Meaning at any moment I can pick up and leave the acquaintance/friend and never even care. It is a real problem of mine.

But I realized that I am always looking for something that will change me. But nothing will ever change me, except me. I have to face myself and conquer my own to become what I want to be. And on the way I will find what I really want to be because the Ideal shifts to be more realistic and I become more happy with myself. Because no one else is like me and I am like no one else, thus I am the unique and can decide my own unique Ideal.

So all these times that I move or travel to find that which is me and running from all those people who know me not as the Ideal me. I am really running from me. My past idiosyncrasies, my insecurities, my failures, my embarrassments.

So it is time to stop running from people, but to change with the flow. No matter where I am I still have my same problems and I still have to deal with the same things. Because the problems are my luggage. No one else's.