Move

So I have been a few places a few different times. Constantly looking for me. You know, always running away from someone/something/making excuses/ looking for something. Always. Well we all do this, "Ok I'll be better if only..." or "I will be ready when...."

I have this ideal. This ideal me that I am running to. Anyone who knows this person who is not the Ideal is subject to sudden unexpected elimination from my existence. Meaning at any moment I can pick up and leave the acquaintance/friend and never even care. It is a real problem of mine.

But I realized that I am always looking for something that will change me. But nothing will ever change me, except me. I have to face myself and conquer my own to become what I want to be. And on the way I will find what I really want to be because the Ideal shifts to be more realistic and I become more happy with myself. Because no one else is like me and I am like no one else, thus I am the unique and can decide my own unique Ideal.

So all these times that I move or travel to find that which is me and running from all those people who know me not as the Ideal me. I am really running from me. My past idiosyncrasies, my insecurities, my failures, my embarrassments.

So it is time to stop running from people, but to change with the flow. No matter where I am I still have my same problems and I still have to deal with the same things. Because the problems are my luggage. No one else's.